Welcoming change

This next week is going to be a really hard one. Going into this fall is going to be a big change from my past two years of college life as I knew it. The decision I made to study abroad in Austria this year really changed the direction of everything I thought my college years would look like. Now I find myself not being a D1 college athlete anymore, giving up all I thought I wanted. I invested myself in running for 8 years and now its over…

One of the reasons I gave up running was because it had become a major idol in my life. It was more important than God in my life and I knew that I wasn’t happy. It is even more evident how important I had made running because of how hard it is for me to let go.

As I sit here in my childhood home, packing up to drive eight hours back to college tomorrow, I am sad because my teammates are at training camp (my favorite week of the cross country season). I can’t help but think that I made the wrong decision to quit. My teammates are my best friends and we have supported each other through a lot. I can’t help but feel as if I’ve given up on them. I feel as if I gave up on myself. I haven’t lived on campus with them for over 8 months and I feel like as I move in this week, I am moving in as a completely different person than I was before.

This year brings big change and a ton of new friends and a new schedule and a new internship and a new need for me to really trust in God’s plan and cling to His promises.

I want to go into this fall with a longing and thirst for more and more of my sweet Jesus. Please pray with me that Jesus would be enough. That Jesus would be beautiful enough and clear enough to me that nothing else in this world matters.

So even though I may not know if I made the right decision, I am going into this fall with the realization that I don’t have it all together and I need my Jesus so much more than I thought. He is good no matter what.

Isaiah 55:1-3

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What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Sometimes it’s hard to dream… things get in the way, your family and friends think you’re crazy, you wonder if God is really putting this on your heart or if it just you, and you wonder if this dream is really possible.

Fear gets in the way and you might think “no that’ll never happen.” I can never do that. That is “just” a dream.

But I believe with all my heart that even if it is just a small, tiny idea in your head, then God put it there for a reason. No matter how impossible it may seem, God makes a way and this dream, it will work out because God uses even the least likely people to do incredible things. He will make your idea a reality, but in His own way and timing.

This “dream” that i’ve been thinking of is at least a year away, so I still have time to ponder and worry and wonder about the possibilities. I don’t know if my life will take me in the direction of making this “idea” a reality, but I do know that if I let fear get in the way, then it most definitely will not.

The only way our dreams and tiny ideas that God places in our hearts and minds will become real is if we place everything in His hands and trust Him completely. We have to be fearless because ultimately God only knows what is ahead. 

So for now, place your dreams and “little” ideas in a bubble of faith, because if you let them sit in a bubble of fear and doubt, they will never have the possibility of becoming a reality.

“Look at the nations and watch— 
and be utterly amazed. 
For I am going to do something in your days 
that you would not believe, 
even if you were told.” Habakkuk 1:5