I don’t know how but somewhere along the way I lost all motivation. I lost my sense of direction. I lost my eagerness to do something important with my life. I lost my goals and my dreams.
Now, none of that matters.
Motivation fluctuates, directions turn, and goals and dreams change.
I am constantly fighting an internal battle with myself. What should I do next? Do my friends really like me? What am I good at? Does my life have any purpose? Am I going to feel like this forever? Why don’t I know anything? Am I really where I am supposed to be? Should I move to another country? What do I really want out of life?
These thoughts keep running through my head like a train going 300 mph with brakes that don’t work.
The other day I wrote in my journal about how cool it is that I have no idea what I am doing with my life but isn’t it cool how God knows. He is the only one who knows. The Creator of the universe knows what my life holds. It is like a little secret between me and Him, except He just hasn’t told me all the details yet.
So I guess right now I will just accept the fact that I am lost, my life has changed, and wait for my Father to tell me our little secret.